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Pride Month begins on June 1 and lasts until either homophobia is destroyed or the first day of July—whichever comes first.

Here are some great ways to celebrate:

1) Repent – The best thing you can do during Pride Month, or any month.

2) Read all the verses in your Bible that mention pride – Then, repent again.

3) Participate in the ceremonial exchanging of the Ukraine flag profile pic for the rainbow flag profile pic – It is a time-honored tradition.

4) Buy a Mustang – Become an honorary gay.

5) Put some frogs in water treated with government chemicals – This will make them gay.

6) Use the urinal right next to another dude – Don’t make it weird; just do it.

7) Reclaim the rainbow as a symbol of God’s promise to never flood the earth again – Then be really annoying by complimenting all the gay people for embracing the Noahic covenant.

8) Listen to some gay artists like George Michael, Elton John, or Maroon 5 – This will show you are an ally.

9) Go to your local library and host a “Sodom and Gomorrah Genesis 19 Reading Hour” for the little ones – We must honor our LGBTQ history.

10) Repent one more time just to be sure – You can’t be too careful when you’re living in a nation that blatantly defied God for decades after He blessed her and made her into the most prosperous nation on earth!

NOT SATIRE: Big banks are seizing the assets of conservatives; coffee shop chains are advocating for defunding the police; and woke corporations are trying to convince you that there are 78 genders. If we want to restore this nation, it starts with you and your wallet. It’s time to move your money towards businesses that love freedom, love our country, and refuse to donate to organizations that stand opposed to everything you believe in. We at PublicSq. (pronounced “Public Square”) are bringing freedom into the mainstream by connecting freedom-loving Americans with like-minded communities and businesses that share their values. We’re the largest compilation of patriotic businesses our nation has ever seen and we’re just getting started. It’s completely free to use the app or to add your business, so download the PublicSq. app from the App Store on your device, or head to PublicSq.com today to get started.”