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BOISE, ID— According to sources, local family man Donald Playfield decided to start packing his things just 12 minutes before leaving on a two-week vacation to Yucatán, Mexico.

“I’m going to see Mayan ruins!” he said cheerfully as he threw a toothbrush into an empty duffel bag.

His wife, Natasha, had reportedly packed luggage for herself and their 12-year-old son a week prior. Their bags were already sitting by the front door when she came to check on her helpless husband.

“Honey, you’re going to need some shirts. And shorts. And—”

“I know how to pack!” Playfield reportedly said, dismissing his loving wife who only wanted to help him.

Natasha Playfield threw up her hands in dismay, leaving her husband to figure out what clothes are and how they fit in a bag.

“I kept reminding him to pack, but he said I was nagging him,” Natasha later told reporters. “He’s wearing flip-flops and he packed a toothbrush. Total disaster!”

According to sources, Donald ended up with two shirts, a pair of shorts, and twenty pairs of underwear. He was allegedly concerned about drinking the water in Mexico.

At publishing time, Donald was forced to buy an entire wardrobe while on vacation because, for mysterious reasons, he hadn’t packed enough clothing. Fortunately, he was well stocked with extra batteries for his Nintendo Switch, which he made sure to neatly pack with the aid of a checklist.

The left, celebrities, and athletes will take money from China, but they sure don’t like talking about China. Tap your foot to the hit song parody of “We Don’t Talk About Bruno”!

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