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MORRISTOWN, TN—As an expression of love, devotion, and infinite gratitude, local husband Jerbis Dorvney waited until after midnight on Mother’s Day to ask his wife to change their kid’s stinky diaper.

“My wife has done so much for me and the children,” said Dorvney, hopping into bed at 12:01 AM while his wife took the malodorous toddler into the nursery to change the now-leaky diaper. “I couldn’t think of a better gift than giving her a day free from dirty diapers while she prepared a Mother’s Day meal for all of us.”

The following morning, relationship gurus and marriage coaches had gathered in the front yard of the Dorvneys after hearing of the husband’s selfless gift, insistent on learning the secrets that led to such a perfect, altruistic marriage. They received no sage advice, only a brief message from his wife who came out to tell them to quiet down because he was sleeping in after a rough Mother’s Day spent babysitting his kids.

Touched by the Christian generosity of her husband, wife Karyn Dorvney allowed her husband to suggest the restaurant on their next date night, which she approved after his seventh suggestion.

This man shared misinformation online, so the Ministry of Truth — err, sorry, the Disinformation Governance Board — detained him for questioning. Will he stand strong in the face of torture?

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