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TEMECULA, CA—Local sixth-grader Aiden Aidensen was upset that he was denied a tattoo by the Inked Tats shop Tuesday. So, he just decided to make a life-altering, permanent decision that he’s actually allowed to make without parental consent, getting gender reassignment surgery instead.

Aidensen wanted to get a tattoo, but his parents said no. So he went to the tattoo parlor, and they told him he had to be eighteen, a rule that Aidensen called “super lame” and “gay.” So the youngster looked around for other things that he could do at his age.

“Can’t drink, can’t smoke. Oh, I could get an abortion! Oh yeah… never mind. Hey, wait a minute — that gives me an idea!”

The sixth-grader happily walked into a nearby hospital and asked for the surgery.

“This’ll show my lame parents who won’t let me get a Fortnite neck tattoo,” he said happily as he jumped into a hospital bed at Rancho Vista Medical Center. “Hack away, doc!”

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