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WASHINGTON, D.C.—Congresswoman AOC has recently drafted strong legislation designed to unilaterally ban ghost guns. She claims the legislation is needed since ghosts are dead already and don’t actually need guns anymore.
“Why would we allow ghosts to have guns if they’re dead already? The gun would simply fall through their hands,” said Congresswoman AOC. “Besides, every gun in the hands of a ghost one less gun in the hands of the people who really need them: FBI agents.”
“And in conclusion,” she stated confidently, “What if a ghost DOES learn how to use a firearm? They are scary enough already! A gun is, like, the last thing they need! That’s why am proposing legislation to stop this nonsense at once.”
AOC’s Democrat colleagues tried to explain that ghost guns referred to 3D printed and unmarked guns made by libertarians—which they also oppose—but this only spooked AOC more. “Okay, so now what do we do if ghosts learn to make their own ghost guns with 3D printers?!” said AOC in horror. “We’d never be able to stop them!”
AOC then called the Ghostbusters to capture all the ghosts before they could ever acquire ghost guns but abandoned her effort after learning that the Ghostbusters also use ghost guns.
At publishing time, AOC abandoned the legislation after finding out it would disproportionately affect Democrat voters.
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