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WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Biden was bewildered on Monday when his old arch-enemy Corn Pop was spotted at the White House during an event celebrating the passage of the Affordable Care Act 12 years prior. Biden reportedly pulled secret service agents aside and told them to keep an eye on the man who he called a “bad dude.” According to sources, agents kindly reminded the most powerful man in the world that “the crazy black man” was former President Barak Obama.

“Listen here, Agent Jack, Obama is my BFF. Don’t you think I can tell the difference between him and Corn Pop? Come on, man!”

“Corn Pop is a bad dude!” the president explained to Secret Service Agent Jack Stallone. “Takes fire to fight fire. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president?”

Video footage of the event appears to show a moment when Biden attempted to confront Obama, who he was sure was Corn Pop, but the former president did his best to ignore him.

According to sources, Obama managed to escape before Biden could wrap a chain around his head. 


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