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U.S.—The Babylon Bee is striking back against woke razor companies with a subscription service of their own. This exciting new service will cost just $5 per month and will send you a box with no razor in it so you can grow your beard. Like a real man. 

“This monthly subscription ditches all the expensive razor blades and aftershave lotions so you can let your facial hair grow naturally and epically, as God intended,” said Calvin Spurgeon Luther, a spokesman for the company. “Our high-quality packaging will arrive at your doorstep every month, completely empty except for a note reminding you to be a man and grow your beard. What a great value!” 

The innovative new “no razor” service will also come with a free Babylon Bee subscription, enabling customers to laugh at ad-free satire while their beard grows out with the majestic power of an ancient warrior poet. 

Several competitors have scrambled to offer similar empty box services, but none of them have the added benefit of a free satire subscription. Sad! 

Click here to subscribe for ad-free satire and no razors. 

This clever husband has found a way to avoid all his responsibilities: he just deflects blame onto Vladimir Putin. Smart!

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