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We got a ton of letters from those of you who took our “Are you a woman?” test saying things like “I don’t think I’m a woman. Is there another thing I could be?” The answer is yes! If you’re not a woman, you just might be a man. To find out for sure, see the 12 most common warning signs that you might be a man.
1. Do you pretend to enjoy cigars?
2. Is it uncomfortable crossing your legs for some reason?
3. Do you stand by open car hoods pointing and gesturing?
4. Can you effortlessly win at every women’s sport?
5. Do you enjoy thinking about absolutely nothing for long periods of time?
6. Are you incapable of finding the milk in the fridge even while staring directly at it?
7. Do you refer to a team of professional athletes who have no idea who you are as “we?”
8. Can you navigate unfamiliar roads but are hopelessly lost in a mall?
9. Do you pause Lord of the Rings 800 times to provide commentary?
10. Would you be completely and utterly helpless without your spouse?
11. Did you think about sex 27 times while reading this list? 28? 29? Good grief…
12. Do you have XY Chromosomes?
Tally up your number of “Yes” answers and consult this chart:
0-2: There’s a small chance you’re a woman. Sorry!
3-5: We’re getting some real masculine vibes here.
6-8: Starting to look kinda likely that you’re probably a dude.
9-11: Definitely a man.
12: You are the most epic and manly man who ever lived. Congrats!
This clever husband has found a way to avoid all his responsibilities: he just deflects blame onto Vladimir Putin. Smart!